Traditionally my blogs have been written without too much of a direct connection made to my own life. While I try and make the personal and base them only off of practices that work for me in my life, I don’t always share the messy experiments I have with mindfulness, the struggles I can have with a practice, or some of the reasons I need mindfulness in my life. Well this month I am going to change that up for you…this is going to get personal.
Since October 2017 I have been dealing with illness and pain. What started as a stomach ache and a toothache, became a gum infection, infected teeth roots, and a severe ear infection. The treatments may have at times been worse than the diseases. I have had gum planning (aka a nice way to say that someone stuck metal hooks into my gums and pulled yuck out), root canals (3 but who is counting…and does the one that failed resulting in the 3rd and eventually 4th root canal count?), and a lot of time on my ass on the couch.
I have seen so many doctors and dentists since October that I am on a first name basis with everyone in the office, and while that isn’t a bad thing to be friendly, it isn’t a great thing to forge these “friendships” from the eye of a pain storm.
I have learned first-hand how pain can make you crazy. How pain can make you tired. How you begin to doubt your own decisions, especially when nothing seems to make you feel better but drugs you hear will make you an addict. I have cried, I have cursed, and I have forgotten to meditate. In fact, in a frustrated phone call to my husband one December day I declared I just didn’t know what to do anymore…the noises and voices and doubts inside of my head were making me so unhappy, uncomfortable, and hopeless, but I couldn’t stop them…I learned just how far I had gotten from doing my mindfulness practices. My husband said – well if you have all this time on your ass why don’t you meditate to calm the voices. And I said – oh yeah, I do that stuff don’t I – says the mindfulness coach to the husband that most definitely does not meditate.
So, I share this because I am going to be sharing with you over this month of February how we can forget to be mindful when life is busy, we are tired, and things aren’t going our way. How we can revisit stories and habits we long ago worked our way out of. And how we can lose sight of the fact that the truth is, in life the good times end and so do the bad times, but how we handle the mess in between is what we often don’t share or discuss.
Because that is how this goes…always…the things that can help us most can fall away and we can even forget them when we are in times of shadow.
My name is Susan, and I am a Certified Neurosculpting® Facilitator and the Director of Corporate Programs for the Neurosculpting® Institute. I am also a wife, mom, friend to many, a skier, a boxer and according to my dog – a pretty good dog mom!
I believe it is important for potential clients to understand how I came to Neurosculpting®, as it often connects me to you.